Like I Never Have Faith At All

Hmm....not actually a great start. Sickness, feeling like you're all by yourself all the time, caught up in workload and on top of everything, not having much inspiration. These are the things that make me even down and somber. Sometime I just feel like I've done nothing more than just trying to destroy myself. Because you know that you're doing things so halfheartedly, and they wont get you anywhere. I'm up against the world right now and pretty much, I'm on my own. And after all that we've done, sometime we kinda like figure out, are these meant for us eventually? Will these be rewarding later on? Are we up for nothing? or have we done enough? I'm afraid I have no answer to those questions. I can just keep on living my life, trying to catch up with things, lifeless. Like you'd never believe in anything before, like you never have faith at all...

Pushing Forward

About to lose my grip actually ... but still trying to hold on to whatever is left now. Friends, faith, my everyday words will be my saving grace for sometime from now on. Start writing some stuff too. Ideas seldom come by, but it's kinda a good thing. I can think of a more serious stuff to write. Other plans are in the making. Last night, had a few ideas with friends that I really want to bring upon to the outside world. A few sets of lyrics and I'll celebrate a hundredth writing soon. But, I'm gonna take it slow and easy, let the idea flows smoothly so I can actually write something great later on. Trying to take everything easy despite of a huge workload and other stuff to handle. I'm gonna do it, no matter what. I like doing them and I'll keep doing them for as long as my will of doing these lives.

In This Time of Chaos & Terror

Currently having a terrible flew. Changing weather nowadays does nothing but making it worse. LOL. And because of this too, having a terrible creative block for the last 4 days. Ironically, before all these happened, I had a very good day and was starting to get all happy about it. Suddenly, the next day, I found myself having a flu. And since then, the days just got worse and I've been struggling to finish everything, from my assignments to my tons of projects that I'll be having in these few weeks to come. It's just terrible and sometime I fell like giving up is the best option. But, think again, this is want I wanted in the first place anyway and it keeps me happy all the time, judging from the fact that I've been so down lately, because of every bad things that I had expected to happen, happened. Trying to find healing in my friends, my work, and my writing on the other side of the world. Right now, I'm having another worst creative block and it kills me actually. I got a set of unfinished lyric that I haven't been able to work on for the few days. Hopefully, I can get it done soon in this time of, pretty much, chaos and terror ....

A Million Different Ways

A million different ways
To love somebody with all your heart
If you can live a day or two with hurts and pain

A million different ways
To find the happiness you’re longing for
If you smart enough to think there’s more to gain

So, don’t bother those senseless thoughts
Crawling through the veins in your minds

One step forward leaves a thousand years behind
One tear of your eyes shatters all the fears inside
A day you realize there’s so much more
Is a lifetime of chances and wonders, that’s for sure

A million different ways
To start this life anew your own kind of way
If all these years, you’ve been living empty lies instead

A million different ways
To close that very last path to your broken past
If you think there’s a reason behind every closed doors

Don’t waste your time for something insignificant
Lift your soul higher than the tallest of mountains

One look on the dark side shuts the light of your future
One bit of loneliness is the road to emptiness
The day this world you live in is ending
Will be your eternal sadness and regret, that’s for sure

Days and nights of blissful hopes and endless glory
That’s the only thing you ever need



NOTE:

Inspired by one of my favourite songs. There are many ways you know to live a life and get what you want in life ...

Season's Greetings

Today is a very spiritually inspiring day. I'm celebrating festive season and I don't know what to say about it. It's been a while since my last feeling of anticipation over festive season because to tell you the truth, I wasn't really into and the same goes right now. It's weird, everyone should be happy walking around visiting relatives. Well...it's hard to say what you feel, when you actually have figured out what would happen usually during the first day. And it did happened just now. Way disappointed. I should had just said I wouldn't be coming along. It's too much and I didn't really comfortable at all. Hypocrisy all over, while you knew what actually happened behind closed doors earlier. I don't want to think about that. They can pretty much do whatever they want to do. I'm sicked of giving words of advise and putting a face. What makes today very inspiring is my writing of course. I took a time to read again some of the pieces that I've done while listening to a few good songs by Taylor Swift. And pop!. New ideas came through my mind and I started writing a few verses. Not yet complete but I'll take my time. That few verses turned out great. Another story-telling kind of poetry but I think, it's a bit different this time. So I'm excited about how it would turn out in the end, though I'm the one writing it actually. Taylor Swift has been my biggest inspiration when it comes to writing poetry, along with a slew of other great singers, songwriters, lyricist and, words and melodies of songs that I listen to. Among all these, she's the premier inspiration because she just write what she wants to and it comes from her heart. The stories she writes in her songs also comes from true events that happened throughout her life. That just makes the songs feel so real because they are. Every time I listen to her songs, I always have something that I want to write down and be proud of it. And in this festive season that I just got the feeling that soon, the joy would end for me, I just want to embrace my poetry just to escape from the world and play with my own little imagination. At least, I won't feel much pain and hurt, after all that I've been through today ...

I Pray

Well....truth be told, I really have no idea what to say about my ongoing life these past few days. It's just so awkward in away, but still at all time high. So I'm trying to catch up with things and start figuring out what to do. I just got to know something that could ruin the entire peace and harmony that I've been having these last few days. I just wish I could go back in time and never listened to what I heard back then. Since then, it started to turn upside down and I don't know If I could keep myself sane anymore in this pretty unstable situation that I'm in right now. So called negative freak I guess. However, good things turned out as well. I started to venture into a new kind of direction in my poetry, start to cultivate the interest of writing something far beyond my years. I'm 20 and that doesn't mean that I can't have a space anywhere in my heart and mind to think about things that are heavy and gives you burden. I'm quite eccentric when it comes to this things because people of my age don't think about this most of the time. But I'll keep myself positive throughout my most difficult time. I pray ...

I Just ...

Hmm...another busy day in the life of a boy. Got mixed up with a lot of stuff that I don't really have time to actually update my blog. But thankful now I got a little bit time to spare. So I'm gonna do the best I can. Well...these past few days are just so reflective. I've been giving myself some spending time to be isolated from the world and drown myself into my writing. I'm getting comfortable with it and I don't restrict myself when it comes to writing stuff anymore. A lot of serious stuff going on and I just want to put them into words. As you all know, it's my ultimate escapism from the world. Trying to take risk a little bit by writing lines regarding alcoholism, broken family and I started writing about a lot of new things as well, stuff that I didn't even bother to look at but they turned out to be something meaningful in the end. And also, I started writing about death, which is a theme I haven't been writing for quite a while. Not to forget, my style of writing is now becoming comfortable too. I'm trying to lose myself and write simple lines but still convey much meaning, while still sticking to my old style of writing that I'm trying to refine. All these new stuff that I wrote are, as usual, very moody and dark. But I couldn't help myself from being true to my feelings right now, which falls somewhere between joy and grieve, and write something out of those feelings. And a very good friend of mine really enjoyed reading them, I couldn't be much happier. I just want this joy of writing to always be with me and the muse and stories, whether they are creation or just a true-story kind of writing, will not end. So I could to tell these to all people that I love and out there I'm saying something and I want them to have a little space in their heart and mind to figure them out ...