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Long Gone Last Innocence ~ Fateful Haunting Reminiscence

Simply Extraordinary

I admit wholeheartedly that I'm not really good at giving anything to anybody. I don't even consider giving anything to anybody most of the times. It's not that I don't want to. It's just that, it is something that you need to put a lot of thoughts into. I'm always a person with so many thoughts, don't get me wrong. But when it comes to something precious to be given to somebody, I usually tell myself to skip it. I would rather watch people around me exchanging gifts and see what they've gotten from one another. Nevertheless, I do believe that no matter what kinds of gifts that people give and take, even if they just a small token of gratitude anyone can find anywhere, they constitute so much meaning to the giver and the receiver. I have a lot of people giving me a lot of things every now and then and I can tell that they come from their deepest and sincerest hearts. The problem is that I don't really have the urge to try giving them something to remember and cherish too as a way to thank them. Other than spoken gratitude and a display of affection, I've got nothing on my plate. Therefore, a few weeks ago, I decided to try doing new things, something that I had never done before. Seeing people giving so much love and support to me, it makes me want to give something back to them in any way possible. I decided to send greeting cards to few friends just before the Eid celebration.

For the first time in my entire life, I decided to send greeting cards to some lucky friends of mine. It sounds quite childish and very extraordinarily nothing to some hearts. But, I take this one as one very valuable experience that I will never be able to forget. What made me decide to do it was that, I felt like I needed to repay their kindness and openness towards me. I'm always a private guy who don't really share things even to my family members as I like to keep them to myself. But, seeing these great friends of mine opening up to me and nonchalantly letting me in to their world and giving me a time and space to get to know them a little bit better, just overwhelmed me in so many ways I could think of. What made me even more overwhelmed with joy was that, I didn't really get the chance to know some of these friends in the past even though we had already known each other for years. And, we ended up getting to know each other so well in the most unthinkable and random situations possible. 

What I wrote in each card was different. And the feelings I poured down were different in each card as well. I decided to make them worth reading and somewhat reflective as it was my first time. Since I couldn't afford to buy, or even manage to find, bigger cards, I simplified whatever things that I really wanted to say. I went on to write an introductory apology for all the wrongdoings that I had done, the recent memories that we both had that made us closer and what I really thought about them as a person. It took quite a while to complete them all as I was extremely busy with doing all the Eid celebration up to the first few days of Eid itself. The fact that I chose to brainstorm what I really wanted to say caused much delay as well, but I didn't regret my decision. I believed at that time, I needed to be cautious with my thoughts and what I was going to write to my friends as thoughts wrongly interpreted might lead to unwanted misunderstanding. In the middle of that chaotic weeks, I would squeeze it in and spend a few nights completing them little by little. Eventually, I managed to complete doing it and slide all the cards in the mailbox just in time.

At that time, I just wished that the cards would reached them in time. I didn't really expect any kind of blown-away reaction coming from them. I just thought that it was one of those good things that I rarely did and hoped the cards would be kept safe as a thing to remember. It gave me a sense of self-fulfilment and satisfaction to be able to do it. It's quite amazing how an act as ordinary as sending cards could lift you and give you something that some bigger things could not. And now, it gives me some sort of clarification that I really should start appreciating smaller things that has bigger meaning that they appear. It was simply extraordinary at that time, and it will remain extraordinary for as long as I breathe ...


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