Innocence White Reminiscence Black

Long Gone Last Innocence ~ Fateful Haunting Reminiscence

Around The World Today

He’s walking down the street alone
With a false hope in his hand
To find the love of his life

She’s running in the pouring rain
Hoping there would be a shelter
So, she could settle down for a while

Whatever gets in the way
They’ll keep on walking
They’ll keep on running

I’m looking out my window
Thinking these are their lives
Always grateful though never been perfect
That’s what goes around the world today

I heard screams of dissatisfaction
2 lovers of different intentions
Hoping to save what’s left before it’s over

I saw a little girl lost in the crowd
Seemed to me, she got nowhere to go
Couldn’t find a place where she could call her home

Whatever reasons it might be
They’d keep on fighting
She’d keep on wondering

I’m staring at the sky
Thinking those are their lives
The love seems all over the place
And that’s what goes around the world today

I saw a woman, she was proposed
By her one and only man, I supposed
But, her face seemed rather not composed

The family next door was falling apart
“Should have gone to waste”, he said
“I think I’ve had enough”, she yelled

Whatever comes in their way
Hope she’ll do the right thing
Hope they’ll make it last, make love shine again

I’m praying for their happiness
For those are their lives
Uncertainties and bittersweetness
Will always be around the world today


I wrote this earlier this year, one of the earliest writing of 2009

Bliss and despair, love and heartbreak, joy and tears and all. All these are just the many parts that mould our entire life. Hopefully, after all those hearts have been mended, and we won't have to run through the pouring rain any longer, a light will shine and bring more good stuff. To all. we say goodbye to a very long year of 2009 and usher the new year of 2010 with all our hopes and fears. Happy new year. Love y'all ^O^~~ 

Take A Time ...

I'm on my way of writing a new piece of written work now. It is all because of my liking towards this one particular artiste. I actually took a time to download the whole album and it was tremendously overwhelmingly superb. The songs were just amazing, particularly on the lyrical side. They were all meaningful in their own way and she's still young. To write something so deep and poetic at such a young age is just amazing, and I just adore these kind of people who can write so well and deliver every piece so well. The whole album inspired me to write many things right now as the artiste really took note on every feeling and every issue revolving around a human's life; love, hate, regret etc. I'm totally inspired now, I just want to write things. It won't turn out as good as what this artiste and other writers have done. But, I'm gonna write things on my own, in my own style and approach and in my own words, with them being the inspiration behind all these that I'm gonna write for days to come. I'm going to take it slow and steady and not rushing or forcing the ideas out of my mind. It's so inspiring to actually find people who write songs that we can connect emotionally to. And this artiste in one of them. She speaks everything that I'm going through at this moment. I'm blown away ...


Hmm... what does it mean to fall? What does it mean when somebody says that he or she has fallen? The word "fallen" itself is every mysterious and intriguing. It is actually one of my favorite vocabulary. It is a very powerful word, very emotional-driven word that I have held on to myself all these years. The word that actually resembles one of many parts of who I am. It is a powerful statement when you say "I've fallen. I can get back up again" because it tells you and you telling other people that you're lost and about to lose it all. For me, to "have fallen" has been a major part of my life, and it also plays a major part that revolves around my writing as well. Because when you get in touch with your inner-self, that is so heart-broken and broken apart, and you're dealing with these every single day, it definitely affects your emotional states. And when you have suddenly gotten back up again, there will always be things followed by that will make you fall again. So, you practically, climb and fall every time. I always get in touch with this particularly "fallen" part of my inner self when it comes to writing. That's reason why I write a lot of really dark stuff that deal with really dark and heart-breaking matters. And that's also why I feel very comfortable writing these kinds of stuff, apart from getting in touch with the many other parts of mine (happy, goofy etc.). But in the end, this "fallen" part of mine teach me a very good lesson every time too, like it always did in the past. You can get back up again and find your way up again. You can get "fallen" but never get too "fallen" that you might never find your way back up to the higher ground again. That particular "fallen" part of mine tells me that all the time. Right now, I am currently in another  "fallen" moment of my life and trying to find a way to get back up again. Hopefully, I'll find it soon ...

Feeling Angry ... And A Little Bit of Hope

I just finished writing about something tonight, but it turned out average. It didn't really reflect the evolution and the changes that I've shown in my previous writing before. But, I did the right thing, I guess. I just wrote it till the end. In the end, I didn't like it. It's so out of place, just like seeing a small kid scribbling. I don't like it at all. The direction that I was trying to get to with it was just not shown at all. So, after I finished writing it, I immediately put it away, didn't even bother to read it all. But, I'm still going to keep it. Someday it might be useful for me and maybe, I would get the chance to rewrite it the way I want it to be, with the rest of the writings of the past, which I think, in need of improvisation and improvement later on as well. Well, the reason I drop by my own blog here tonight, and for the second time in these few hours, is to let my mind rest in peace a little bit. I want to release my frustration and anger that I've kept so long since the first day I came home. We. humans, have the right to feel and show our emotions. For some, it is like a therapy, to let out the poison of themselves. For the rest, it might just for fun. But to me, it is more to loosing up a little bit. Since I'm not quite happy these days, it definitely takes a toll on me. That's why I made an effort to spend some quality time with myself and write something about it. As you all know, I pour out my emotions in my writings, instead of mere words said. But, it didn't turn out well. So, it made me even frustrated. But somehow, out of all this nonsense, it tells me something. I shouldn't have gone to hide myself just to not let everyone knows how I feel deep down. Maybe, it's a good thing to have it released sometimes. Because of that reason, I kept continuing to write what I just finished writing just now. Although it kinda sucked a little bit, I always believe in this talent of writing that God has given me. So, I'm gonna keep it till the day I could finally settle down and rewrite everything, turn it to what it supposed to be. Finger-crossed for that day to come around fast ...

Get Through ...

I just want to write something soon. But, I can't figure out what to write and creative block is just taking over since the day I went back for holidays. I just need to write something. I have a lot of things in mind and I want to get them centered. God, help me get through this. I'm painfully desperate right now ...

I Could Go Back To Every Laugh ...

Everything has changed a bit since I said goodbye back then. I'm trying to get used of it, and I think I'm gonna be just fine along the way. That day was like a very surreal moment for me. Not only I said goodbye to one thing that has kept me going on until now, I said goodbye to a lot of things that has gotten me so worked up, so in grieve, so deeply scarred. It's all about, you're going forward and not looking back and also, not being bothered by all stupid stuff. I thought I just made a big decision too. I just can't wait for things that I'm currently looking forward to come next year. I have lot of big plans and arrangements that I want to work on. I'm moving forward with my savior of all these years too, my writing. Lately, I wasn't really writing that much. Maybe because I had a lot of things going on that I couldn't find a perfect time to lay down words. However, when I suddenly found those times and I started writing something, they turned out to be something positive. Something like, you find light in the dark, positive coming out from negative and all those stuff. And every time I finished writing them, I feel so good, a bit better than I was feeling before. And I'm gonna start writing more stuff soon. I think my writing has just gotten a bit better, a bit more perspective-driven, a lot more serious and a lot more sensitive. I'm kinda liking this new environment that I'm in and the direction that me and my writing are going right now. Maybe, just maybe, I'm gonna get my chance to get them out there for people to listen to soon, with a help of a very good friend of mine, of course"finger crossed". Another thing is, I'm currently learning to put my flaws and all those bad things behind. And also, good things that, sadly, are pretty much the basis of all the craziness and tears, and my disappointment now. Many people wished I could make up those things and let it be the way they used to be, like they were. But, there is something about those things that make me do this and maybe, it is best to let them be memories instead of growing pains. I've got God, a number of best companions that I can actually count to be with me and other things that keep me going, and they are all that matter/Quoted from one of my favorite songs, "I could go back to every laugh...but I don't wanna go there anymore..."

The Time Has Come

The day has finally say goodbye. Hopefully I be strong. Because I don't think I do now ... That is all I have to say for now.

That's Okay

A girl named Sylvia
6 years old, lives in California
In a small house with a mother by her side
Innocent like a pretty little blooming flower

The school is just a few blocks away
But, she’s never got the chance to go there
And she doesn’t get along with other kids so well
‘Coz every time she walks by, they bid her farewell

Her mother sees her then she starts to cry
And says “My baby could have a better life”
Then, she walks back home and sees her mother crying
She says “Mama, we’re gonna keep on praying”

‘Coz light is always shining, but we just can’t see
Heaven’s right there smiling, open up and let it heals
Remember, He is watching, so we don’t ever have to worry
This life might be a pain, but that’s okay

Every morning, she’ll look out her window
And sees her mother walking out the house
Then, she’ll come back when the sun sets down
Saying “Tomorrow I’m gonna find myself a job

Her mother looks at her then she starts to cry
And says “My baby, we both will have a better life”
But, she’s too used to see those tears falling down her face
So she says “Mama, let’s just keep on trying”

‘Coz light is always shining, but we just can’t see
Heaven’s right there smiling, open up and let it heals
Remember, He is watching, so we don’t ever have to worry
This life might be a pain, but that’s okay

Her mother sits next to her and she whispers to her ears
Saying “We’re gonna find a better place away from here”
She holds her mother’s hands, she holds them both tight
And says “Let’s live for all those tears we’ve cried”

‘Coz light is always shining, but we just can’t see
Heaven’s right there smiling, open up and let it heals
Remember, He is watching, so we don’t ever have to worry
This life might be a pain, but that’s okay...

Everything might just be pains, but you know it's normal and it's gonna be alright soon. He is always there watching over ... and that's the best truth you've ever got to know. Writing was inspired by one of my favourite songs...

What Can I Say?'s already started. A bit indifferent about everything. But out of this situation, there has been a few unwanted circumstances happening. Well, I did tried to get them clear the air but they just wouldn't do a favor, leaving me here with so much things to say and to think about. I guess, there are things that people just won't say them out aloud but they would give you some clues. Like a hangover and you have to figure out what they are. The only thing flashing through my mind now is "What can I say?"....what is there to be said anyway? ....