Innocence White Reminiscence Black

Long Gone Last Innocence ~ Fateful Haunting Reminiscence

Soul Searching & Healing

Truth be told, I haven't write something like "finding the light in the midst of chaotic moment" for quite some time now. I used to write about it a lot in the past because maybe at that time, I was trying to find myself and look out for things outside, try to view things in a very unconventional way. So that's why I wrote a lot of "soul-searching and healing" stuff in the past. But, as I grow older, suddenly my thoughts are no longer walk in that direction anymore. I seldom write about it nowadays and move my style of writing to a more warm and conventional approach. Maybe, I'm trying to lose myself a little bit and taking my time writing. Right now, all I can say is that, my whole life is changing and I might be going for something bigger, something more chaotic than this I need to find my healing, which is by writing this kind of stuff. A good friend of mine texted me last night about a phrase that was just coming out from her brain late afternoon yesterday. And it opened my eyes about writing this stuff all over again as the phrase was somewhat "religious and full of soul healing" in a way. Maybe tonight, I'm gonna write something like that again but with a different approach this time. You know, as you get older, your horizon just gets wider and you're becoming a bit open and mature about everything. Can't wait to lay down the words tonight. Hopefully my on-and-off creative block doesn't get in the way.

An Honest Mystery

A rush of fears is running through my veins,
Insecurities keep suffocating me again and again,
Just thought of giving up, then there’s a figure, it’s you,
You’re standing tall in the crowd under the sky so blue.

Her beauty speaks the words of philosophy,
Though her presence is nothing but ordinary,
Glasses on her face and a bag full of books,
She makes sure her days won’t pass by empty.

Behind those shining eyes,
There’s an honest mystery,
By the skin of her teeth,
Look how far she has been,
I’m enchanted, and I’m sure.
There’s no ending to her story.

She gives me chances when I feel like falling,
She calms me down when my heart is hurting,
I know you won’t let me down, my friend,
Even if the light is gone, we’ll make it ‘til the end.

Every now and then, we’ll chat on the phone,
But she never let me know what’s going on,
All her girlfriends linger to her day and night,
I’ve never seen her walking down the road alone.

She paints her faith with fate and destiny,
Every hope she prays for is a taste of glory,
Her life is an open circus for the whole world to see,
But when it comes to tears she cries, it’s her privacy.

I can never find the answer,
To this honest mystery,
What a girl she has become,
Now, she’s better than me,
Sooner or later, she’ll realize,
She’s the hero of her story.

She lives her life like she’s in a battlefield,
She gives me something dear to hold on to,
She gets smaller while her dreams are getting bigger,
Cause in the end, what she believes is all she got to prove.

The smile is so kind and true,
It makes feel like I’m a fool,
A little unruly and out of place,
But I won’t love her any other way.

I wrote this for one of my best friend. One day, she said for once, she wants to hear how other people see her through their perspective and points of insight. So, I volunteered to write something like this so she could figure out how I see her through my eyes. And until now, they never change. She is what she is in this writing. Which I'm glad.

It's Done

Wow...I can't believe this. As soon as I posted the last post just now, I got down with that unfinished writing and just like that, it's all done. Sometime, I'm so amazed with what I can do myself. Let's move on to a new set of writing. I'm fired up.

Has Yet To Finish

I don 't know if I'm trying to tackle down something I don't really have any idea to talk about. It is just as good as dead. Still writing it and I don't know when I'm gonna finish this up. Lol

I Wonder

I wonder if I have made a mistake to that person......If I did then I should be saying sorry. Well, I have so much emotion concealed in the core of my heart today. I'm gonna let them out. And, I'm still currently writing about yesterday's thought. By tonight or tomorrow, it'll be finished. It might turn out way different that what I expected, but at least, I give myself a try to tackle down something that I don't usually put myself into, or even think about it in everyday life.

I See You

In the crowd,
In empty spaces,
Nobody knows,
I kiss your face.

Like a wind,
Whistles through the wall,
I’ll be here for you,
So, let me hear your call.

I’m soaring like a meteor,
Across the Mars and the Jupiter,
Suddenly, I crash on the Earth,
But it’s all worth it, when I see you.

Think of me,
Everyday and every time,
I love you,
So, please don’t cry.

Passing seasons,
Won’t change a thing,
All I know,
You’re my everything.

I’m flying like a bird,
Above the sky and the mountains,
And I land my feet on the ground,
In a blink of an eye, I see you.

A random thought of mine a few months ago ...

What Does He Think...

What do a soldier think when his life is about to end in a battlefield?...I wish I could figure it out. Currently writing about that actually. I was just surfing the internet and I found out about this one song form a band. The song was about thoughts and views from a soldier who was going to die and it just started ringing in my mind. And I said "Oh yeah, what does he think when his life is about to end?" So I tried imagining myself in that position and just write. I'm not a soldier. I'm not even a person who fights. So it's kinda hard.


Yeah!! Finally, the song has just finished a few minutes ago. I'm so over the moon as I'm taking my time writing it and it turns out to be pretty good. It's a song based on a true of a friend of mine who was being left without a word and someday, he himself would come around and tell the actually reason of him leaving her that way. But I try to make my own kind of twist in the song, putting the situation in between the transition of ending of the summer and the starting of autumn, which I think, is a very nostalgic season. It's a great therapy session and I just got more ideas to write after finish writing it. Hopefully, I can get them centered and put them into words later on.

See You Again

I lost you,
In the crowd,
I called your name,
Was it loud enough?

I walked through,
A winding road,
Nowhere to turn to,
And nowhere to go.

Million pieces of broken yesterdays,
I’ll keep them safe in my hearts anyway.

If I could travel across the distance,
Of mountains high and rivers deep,
I would tell you what I’ve been wishing for,
Someday, somehow, I’ll see you again.

I don’t care,
If I have to die,
To be with you,
Is worth any sacrifice

I’ll let you know if my heart’s still beating,
Cause in the end, I’m the one who stay.

If I could fly across the universe,
Where the stars sing songs of endless love,
I would be the one to guide you all the way,
Just believe in me, I’ll see you again.

A dedication to all best of friends out there, wherever you are at the moment, in deepest of misery or at the top of the world, remember that there will always be people who stay by your side, regardless of any flaws that you have. A lot of things have happened these days and I can only hope for the best and the outpouring happiness for all of us. There's no perfection and there's nothing more perfect than imperfection and the same goes to all of us. There's nothing much more happier than seeing you happy that, even if I'm not happy at the time, seeing you living your lives happily is nothing a but a bliss for me. Troubles come and go, fights and wars between us come and go, but remember, pure friendship is eternal.

Still Moving

I started writing about the thing I said I wanted to write yesterday. The flow of ideas was great, even though the results were a bit off than what I expected. But it's still great and I have fun writing it. By tonight or tomorrow, It'll be finished and can't wait to lay down the music. Lately, I've been a bit down and been writing a lot of sad stuff. But, that feeling keeps flowing with a lot of ideas for my writing, even though they were all dealing with lost, breaks-up, death and stuff. Well, at least I want to stay true to my feelings right?

Midnight Thoughts

I just had a pretty long chat with a good friend of mine, who is currently dealing with her personal problem. And she suggested something out of the blue that was so good, to the point where I started singing impromptu with melody in my head. I'm gonna start writing about it soon, and hopefully, I can get down with the melody. But now, I'm still trying to get over my ongoing creative block...i.i~~

An Unexpected Muse

Well.....currently having a very terrible creative block for a good 3 days now. Just so away from my pencil and writing book. But managed to finish recording a rough piano track and figuring out what to do with that. Hopefully, I can get down with that and create more materials soon. But first, I need to get my writing back on track. I need to get it polished....^O^~~

A Matter Of Heart

Have you ever wondered
Why you run away
From the truth that comes to save you
You just throw your hopes
On the stairs
Wishing they would leave you alone.

Have you ever needed
Someone to talk to
To lead you out of the loneliness
So, don't be lost in the crowd
Full of fools
Guard your soul from the raging darkness.

Lie's all a matter of heart
If you believe it, it tears you apart
A thousand years of living won't mean a thing
If you don't dream
Just breathe easy
Breathe easy.

Have you ever wondered
Why the light is here today
And it will always be there for you
Clouds of grey above your heads
Will come and go
But, sun will shine forever.

Have you ever thought of
A hole deep inside you heart
Only nothing but a burden
Then, just cast away
Let time heals you once again
Drown your past into the ocean.

Love's all a matter of heart
Bring back all the good times to the start
No room for gloomy days
Each moments you make is another glory
So, let it be.

I did this for a friend of mine, who was going through a tough time fighting in a losing game not long ago, hope that person likes it though ...

An Ode to the Beginning

Follow my heart
To where it leads me
Hopes and fears
Are vanished eternally

For today and the days after
This is what I suppose to be
I'll move on and wash away
Empty dreams and haunting miseries

The sound of tomorrow
Breaks the yesterday's silence
Loneliness and sorrow
Nevermore be an option