Get Through ...

I just want to write something soon. But, I can't figure out what to write and creative block is just taking over since the day I went back for holidays. I just need to write something. I have a lot of things in mind and I want to get them centered. God, help me get through this. I'm painfully desperate right now ...

I Could Go Back To Every Laugh ...

Everything has changed a bit since I said goodbye back then. I'm trying to get used of it, and I think I'm gonna be just fine along the way. That day was like a very surreal moment for me. Not only I said goodbye to one thing that has kept me going on until now, I said goodbye to a lot of things that has gotten me so worked up, so in grieve, so deeply scarred. It's all about, you're going forward and not looking back and also, not being bothered by all stupid stuff. I thought I just made a big decision too. I just can't wait for things that I'm currently looking forward to come next year. I have lot of big plans and arrangements that I want to work on. I'm moving forward with my savior of all these years too, my writing. Lately, I wasn't really writing that much. Maybe because I had a lot of things going on that I couldn't find a perfect time to lay down words. However, when I suddenly found those times and I started writing something, they turned out to be something positive. Something like, you find light in the dark, positive coming out from negative and all those stuff. And every time I finished writing them, I feel so good, a bit better than I was feeling before. And I'm gonna start writing more stuff soon. I think my writing has just gotten a bit better, a bit more perspective-driven, a lot more serious and a lot more sensitive. I'm kinda liking this new environment that I'm in and the direction that me and my writing are going right now. Maybe, just maybe, I'm gonna get my chance to get them out there for people to listen to soon, with a help of a very good friend of mine, of course"finger crossed". Another thing is, I'm currently learning to put my flaws and all those bad things behind. And also, good things that, sadly, are pretty much the basis of all the craziness and tears, and my disappointment now. Many people wished I could make up those things and let it be the way they used to be, like they were. But, there is something about those things that make me do this and maybe, it is best to let them be memories instead of growing pains. I've got God, a number of best companions that I can actually count to be with me and other things that keep me going, and they are all that matter/Quoted from one of my favorite songs, "I could go back to every laugh...but I don't wanna go there anymore..."

The Time Has Come

The day has finally come...to say goodbye. Hopefully I be strong. Because I don't think I do now ... That is all I have to say for now.

That's Okay

A girl named Sylvia
6 years old, lives in California
In a small house with a mother by her side
Innocent like a pretty little blooming flower

The school is just a few blocks away
But, she’s never got the chance to go there
And she doesn’t get along with other kids so well
‘Coz every time she walks by, they bid her farewell

Her mother sees her then she starts to cry
And says “My baby could have a better life”
Then, she walks back home and sees her mother crying
She says “Mama, we’re gonna keep on praying”

‘Coz light is always shining, but we just can’t see
Heaven’s right there smiling, open up and let it heals
Remember, He is watching, so we don’t ever have to worry
This life might be a pain, but that’s okay

Every morning, she’ll look out her window
And sees her mother walking out the house
Then, she’ll come back when the sun sets down
Saying “Tomorrow I’m gonna find myself a job

Her mother looks at her then she starts to cry
And says “My baby, we both will have a better life”
But, she’s too used to see those tears falling down her face
So she says “Mama, let’s just keep on trying”

‘Coz light is always shining, but we just can’t see
Heaven’s right there smiling, open up and let it heals
Remember, He is watching, so we don’t ever have to worry
This life might be a pain, but that’s okay

Her mother sits next to her and she whispers to her ears
Saying “We’re gonna find a better place away from here”
She holds her mother’s hands, she holds them both tight
And says “Let’s live for all those tears we’ve cried”

‘Coz light is always shining, but we just can’t see
Heaven’s right there smiling, open up and let it heals
Remember, He is watching, so we don’t ever have to worry
This life might be a pain, but that’s okay...


NOTE:
Everything might just be pains, but you know it's normal and it's gonna be alright soon. He is always there watching over ... and that's the best truth you've ever got to know. Writing was inspired by one of my favourite songs...

What Can I Say?

Hmm...final's already started. A bit indifferent about everything. But out of this situation, there has been a few unwanted circumstances happening. Well, I did tried to get them clear the air but they just wouldn't do a favor, leaving me here with so much things to say and to think about. I guess, there are things that people just won't say them out aloud but they would give you some clues. Like a hangover and you have to figure out what they are. The only thing flashing through my mind now is "What can I say?"....what is there to be said anyway? ....

I Don't Have The Heart ...

The final's here, and I am not done with everything that I ever wanted to do. I'm just not ready to let myself be drowned in this moment. I just want to taste more things before I'll never get the chance to taste them anymore. And as I counting the 1 to 3 every single day, a lot of people out there are counting the days till their departure from the place where we are in at the moment. Especially that very special friend of mine. I'll get so sad every time I think about it, while that person is just excited about finishing all this and head for a new life and experience. And all our plans together are still hanging on the wall, waiting to be taken down. Hopefully, we are still on the track of realizing those dreams together, hope that person won't forget me, as much as I won't ever forget that person and everything that the person has done here. I don't have the heart to let everything leave and come away. So how is it going to be? ...

What It Feels Like

Flying angels in dresses of white,
Soaring up in the sky,
So pretty and beautiful,
These phrases can’t describe

Confusion in my mind,
I just can’t understand,
Then, I say a word of pray,
Wish it will go away.

Why do I see grey clouds?
Darker then they used to be,
This must be God’s sign,
For the first time, I know,
What it feels like to believe.

Don’t know how I got here,
Many days have come and gone,
The end is getting near,
But I’ll keep moving on.

The world is changing now,
And the space is going round,
Darkness seems so clear now,
I know what I have found.

Why do I see the pouring rain?
Thicker than yesterdays,
This must be His sign,
Deep in my heart, I realize,
What it feels like to be alive.



NOTE:

I wrote this 2 years ago. One of the earliest literary thoughts that I've ever written, and it's based on a song that I really liked back then. It's about you discover things you have never seen before, know things you have never known and trying to say that you are celebrating what you have and be grateful, be inspired by what freedom and faith have to offer in life, through whatever even a tinge of darkness that may come in your way. It makes me realize, I have never been in that moment of ease for quite some time ...