Tonight

Somewhere up there in Heaven
He’s waiting for my answers
He let all the doors wide open
I have never been an honest prayer

I look into the sky tonight
I can no longer see all the star lights
It’s been days, but where are they now?
Have they fallen all the way to the ground?

Have they fallen?
I wonder ...

No use walking a million miles away
If you can never find a better place to stay
You think there won’t be light to shine your way
You find it hard to believe, but you keep on praying anyway

I know I should have just let go
All the pain and hurts I kept inside
I realise, life can be so shallow
You never get the same kind of chances twice

As the sky gets darker tonight
I pray that soon, there will be some star lights
Though I lose my reflection in the shattered mirror
I can see myself on the moon that shines

I can see it
It’s blinding me ...

No use walking a million miles away
If you can never find a better place to stay
You think there won’t be light to shine your way
You find it hard to believe, but you keep on praying anyway

Once lost in the wind of change
Being left in the pouring rain
Oh, what a day I had before
They say nothing is forever
Believe in one sacred power
So, I don’t have to wonder anymore

‘Coz faith and love
Are all that matter

Let time heals the wounds and wash away the past
I lift my head high and never look back
There’s no need to grieve for things I’ve lost in the fire
And I’ll start it all over again tonight ...



P/S :
Wrote this way back during my early years in college to cheer myself up and treat old wounds ...

Waiting for the Rain to Fall

I’m waiting for rain to fall

So, I can finally break the wall

Sunny day won’t do me favour

If you just sit on the other side, doing nothing at all

I’m waiting for the rain to fall

So, I can finally knock on your door

Clear blue sky won’t do me a thing

If you close your ears and don’t listen anymore

Faith is all that matters

Take your time and wonder

Don’t ever lose to your own coldness

You’ll be frozen by your emptiness

Open up your eyes to uncertainties

It’s just another simple way to live

I’m waiting for the rain to fall

We’ve been fighting endlessly these days

Heat of summer might not be good enough

If the sun that shines bright can’t melt your heart away

Ocean’s deep and mountain’s high

There’s no easy way out in this life

So, try and put out the flame inside

Let love be your guiding light

Through the sky full of grey clouds

‘Cause faith is all that matters

So, take your time and wonder

Then, the storm comes around

And so does the pouring rain

Hope you let it all out

Never hide your fears again

NOTE:

Something that I wrote early last year. It tells you about a somebody, doing everything including the impossibles to save what and who they love. Based on a true story of a friend of mine. It didn't end well eventually, but they are happy with their lives right and have already moved on ... 

In Need of His Grace ...

Aaahh ... feels good to be back here again and write something. I've never touched this space of mine for a good few months and it starts feeling very lonely here. So, I'm going to write something to break the silence. Feels good to be back home after a long walk of examination hardship even though it has been 2 and half months since. I can never reminisce every single thing that happened during that difficult time because they were just too hurtful to be remembered. But, there's still some good things happening and that's what I will take from there to be remembered for as long as I live. All I can say is that, for the first half of this year, I feel blessed and loved by the love from God and every loved ones out there, to be able to recognize the good and the bad again. My eyes have opened up to things we called truth and things we called lies. I could never be the same again and so those things are. I am going to get the right things done and never look back. I don't care what they want to do or say. I'm doing this for the sake of this heart and soul.

These last few days have been very restless for me. My world, or should I put it generally, today's world has been shocked by the thing we called "war" in this modern century. And worst, they were people who got killed during this period. I can help but to think this world may have gone mad in some points. I still can't believe that they are humans who just couldn't be so fully aware of the concept of world peace and still trying to make the worst out of every situation that could have turn for the better if they just take a moment and think. But, I can't also help myself from thinking that these group of people are just some of those things that are just "meant to be". What is happening in the world right now has made me restless. Nevertheless, because of it as well, I have come to realize one thing. This may just be one of those moments that we realize, we need Him more than ever ... don't you think? ...

The Point of It All ...

Doing a bit of self-reflection as I'm here sitting in my favourite cafe with my notebook to look upon. As soon as I woke up, I just realized that it's weekend and I didn't really have an idea what to do. I took my shower, got dressed and woke up out my room and out of my house. And I'm here, onlining as if I got nothing else to do. I still have a lot of work to do. But I decided not long ago that this weekend will be away-from-work day. Just for a while so that I can take a breath of fresh air and figure out what to do next with ease. I've been so out of control and so machine-like. There's no stopping for me these last few weeks. So, I really want this weekend to just work. It's not really going to be all away-from-work weekend totally. I decided to have this weekend for myself just so that I could make use of the time to figure out and finish my own piling work. And I managed to finish one. There's more to go. So the point of it all, I'm finally able to spend some time for myself and do my own thing.

If We Don't Ever Forgive ...

What would ones do, or should I put it like this ... what should ones feel when they don't want to forgive? Sometimes, I really wonder about this whole thing. Forgiveness, for me is a huge thing. But I don't really give my forgiveness away without common sense. There are things that are meant to be forgiven and they aren't. And I choose to live that way as that is one of the things that I believe in in this life. It is very amazing to know that there are very magnificent people who have pure hearts that can forgive and forget. Almost prophet-like. And I'm somewhat amazed by these act of humanity. There's a way that people can walk on to when it comes to searching for forgiveness. And it will always there for those who sincerely wants to forgive and be forgiven. I used to be so heartless. But at this time of age, I can't afford to live that way anymore. It's a waste of time. I learn that life won't ever be as bliss as we could ever wish it would be no matter how far you would go to feel happy .... if we don't ever forgive ...

Cotton Candy Clouds

A little girl wondering around
A little too young to have things figured out
A little too small to stand tall
She’s just too little to walk in that huge crowd
Pain is all she’s got left and it falls like pouring rain
And when it stops, everybody asks “What had you found?”
She just smiles and walks away

I have never seen
Such a beautiful wonder like this
So innocent, an untainted flower
She lives through her days in bliss
Before she knows it her heart has healed

A mother and a father
And a little boy they don’t seem to bother
Always out and leave him alone
As if elsewhere is so much better than home
For all his life, he never knows what true love is
And when it’s time to go, he just smiles upon his fate
Never shed a tears

They can’t ever see
Such a beautiful smile like his
He’s always been there waiting at the front door
Now, he’s gone forevermore
Nevermore, he lives in misery, his heart has been healed

A woman lying on her bed
Alone with all her thoughts of painful yesterdays
Waiting for her moment to fly away
So she could forget all her bruises and her broken faith
Then, she turns her eyes to that sky full of cotton candy clouds
With tears upon her face, she says to God above
“I want to leave here now”

Guess she’s already seen
The light that comes to save her
It takes her breath away
And soon, she finds her way to Heaven
‘Coz God is great and all her hurts will be healed



NOTE:
Sometimes, dealing with the pain is the best "teacher" when it comes to living a life ...

To Give and To Take

What is the meaning of to give and the meaning of to take? especially in love life? I don't really think that people really have gotten the idea of these things yet. Sometimes, when they say they are in love and the first thing that comes through when they talk is, "We learn to give and to take in love" I'm not quite sure if I'm ever going to believe that. Because it never did happen in the past. So, to make the saying live in this world just might be a wishful thinking. I kind of feel sad and frustrated to see people suffer because of the thing that they call pure love. What is love when all you ever feel is just a pain that eats you from the inside. The idea of giving and taking is quite far away from reality now. But, I keep my head and my heart high and wish that it would happen someday for me, and the same goes to people out there ....